Have you ever wanted to make a good impression on people? Especially, when you think to yourself, “wow they are so cool.” It seems like everything about them is so amazing. They dress with great style. You both like the same movies. Talented is their first name and Adventurous is their last name. There’s only one problem. No matter what you do to become their friend it doesn’t work. In fact, quite the opposite happens. They talk and hang out with everyone else but you. It doesn’t matter how kind you are to them or how many times you go out of your way to help them out; having a friendship with them never seems to work out.
What do you do? You may think to yourself. I know. Maybe if I change my hair color that will work? Nope. Maybe if I dress cooler that will change their mind? Nope. How about if I bend over backwards to help them any time they need it? Nope.
There is only one thing you can do. Let it go. If you have to jump through that many hoops to try to get someone to be your friend, you will have to continue doing so just to keep the friendship alive. Trust me, I have been there before and believe me it’s not fun nor is it worth it.
I love this quote by C.S. Lewis, who is one of my favorite authors, he says this, “I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of. For to have been born in God’s thought and then made by God is the dearest and most precious thing in all thinking.”
You don’t have to be someone else to be acceptable by others. You just have to be you. Just be the person that God has created you to be and He will draw the right friends into your life.
Sometimes it can be tough you know. I am a pastor’s daughter and my life is filled with many opportunities to help people. I have a very big heart and I love to help them. I hate watching them go through hard times. I don’t like watching them experiencing painful things. I love to encourage them when I can and pray for them. But you know, sometimes I just want to be a friend to them, hang out with them and just plain have fun. It doesn’t always work out that way though.
I have had some experiences where I will see someone come up to me and in my heart I am really excited to see them. I think oh how nice they just want to say hi and ask me how things are going. They want to be friends. Then the excitement begins to turn to sadness as I see on their facial expression that, that is not their intention. They then proceed to ask me if I will help them with something. Although, it makes me a little sad as I was hoping that we could just enjoy one another’s company and get to know each other more I agree to help them.
Please don’t misunderstand me it’s not that I don’t want to help people. But, sometimes I just would like to be with people, hang out with them, instead of being someone they only come to when they need something. At times, it makes me hesitate in being around certain people. It definitely makes it harder to be myself around them. I suppose that is why we need God. He helps us to know how to get past all that and be who we are created to be regardless of how some people may act toward us. We can trust that He will bring those people who are there just to be a friend especially when you need one. Where it’s a relationship of give and take. You will encourage them and they will encourage you. Your friendship will become all the more richer and have more meaning as you are valuing one another and are learning from one another.
I would like to paraphrase a story with you that I recently heard. It’s a book called Just The Way You Are by Max Lucado. If you ever get a chance to read the actual book I would highly recommend it because of how powerful it is.
The story begins in a little village where a family of five orphans lived. One day the king heard about their plight. So he decided to adopt them. Soon, he would come to visit them. When the children and the villagers heard about what the king had done, they were all excited. The villagers told the children that in order to live with the king that they had to impress the king. The villagers said this because they assumed that, that was the way that all kings were even though that had never personally met one themselves.
So some of the children set about working hard on their talents in order to impress the king. But there was one orphan, a little girl who believed that she had no gift or talent in order to impress the king. The only thing that she did have was a good heart. She was scared that she would be a disappointment to the king. She thought that maybe one of her brothers or sisters would be willing to help her develop a talent. She too would be able to impress him when he came and she could live with the king. But as she asked each one of her siblings for help, they only replied that they were too busy getting ready for the coming of the king. The girl became very sad and she returned to the front gate of the village. This was the place where she would always go to feed the animals in order to make enough money for food for her brothers and sisters. She loved feeding the animals and talking with the villagers. She had a big heart and really cared about people. She loved to ask them about their families and the adventures that they had just returned from. It didn’t matter to her if they were rich or poor she loved them all the same. She had a very good heart.
One day a man who was dressed in merchant clothes, came to the front gate of the village and asked the little girl if she would help feed his donkey. She looked up at the man and saw that he had a kind face and smile. She readily agreed to feeding his donkey. She then asked him why he had come to the village. He responded by saying that he was looking for someone. She could tell that he was weary from his journey and invited him to rest on a nearby bench. The man sat down and fell asleep for a little while. When he woke up, he noticed that the little girl was sitting by his feet looking up at him. The little girl quickly became embarrassed and looked away. The man asked her if she had been there long? She replied that she had. He asked if there was something that she wanted? She said, no. She just liked being around him because his was so kind and had a peaceful heart. The man then told her that she was a smart little girl and that when he came back that he would like to spend more time with her.
It wasn’t too long after that, that the man had returned. The little girl asked the man if he had found who he was looking for? He said, yes. But each one that he was looking for was too busy to spend time with him. The little girl came to realize that the man was the king. She told the king that he did not look like a king at all. The king replied that he purposefully would try not to look like a king because people would treat him strangely. They would ask for favors or complain to him. The little girl asked the king, but isn’t that what kings are for? The king replied yes, but some times I just want to be with my people. I want to laugh with them, to cry with them and sometimes I just want to be their father. The girl then asked the king if that was why he had adopted the children? The king said yes. Adults think that I need to be impressed, children don’t. They know that I will love them just the way they are. The girl said, but my brothers and sisters were too busy. The king replied, yes but I will come again another time maybe they will have time for me then. The girl mustered up all the courage she could and said to the king, Sir I have no gift or talent can I be your child? The king smiled at the little girl and said, you have given me the best gift of all, your kindness your heart, your time, your love. Of course you will be my child. So it was that the children of the king missed the time of their visitation but the girl who had no gift but a good heart became a child of the king. The End
I know that I have been talking a lot about relationship today. But, in life it truly is one of the main things that we all have. I believe that the treasure found in a relationship is when there is a heart connection. It’s not about impressing one another but about being with one another, encouraging one another to be the best that God wants us to be. What I love about the story “Just The Way You Are” is that all the king, who represented God, wanted from the orphans was a relationship with them. Where they could enjoy being with one another. It is the same with our relationship with God. He doesn’t need us to impress Him in order to have a relationship with Him and be accepted by Him. He loves us just the way He created us to be. He wants a heart relationship with us. Where we can come together and just enjoy one another’s company. It isn’t all about us trying to impress Him, or complaining about our lives or even coming just to get things from Him. Although, because He knows we’re human He will help us, comfort us and be there when we need it. But just like the story said sometimes He just wants to laugh with us, have fun with us and just enjoy each other’s company.
He also wants us to have those kinds of relationships in our lives. So this is my encouragement to you today. Don’t stop being who God created you to be in order to have a relationship that may only be temporary and not very life giving to you. Ask and trust God to bring people into your life who will help you grow more into who He has called you to be. A relationship that is life giving for the both of you. Watch as He brings them into your life.