I wanted to take a moment and talk about something very important, the heart. Ever since I was little, I have always had a sensitive heart. For example, if I was sitting and watching a movie and something bad happened to someone in the movie I would be so sad for them and the pain that they were going through, that I would cry for two hours. One time, I was watching a Hallmark Card commercial and believe it or not, by the end of the commercial I was in tears. (It was about a lonely puppy that no one wanted and in the end someone picked him.) Although, those things weren’t real it still affected my heart.
Even with the things that did actually happen to me, I never really acknowledged the sensitivity of my heart. I didn’t realize how much things really affected me. I thought that I was immune to them.
It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that my heart was overwhelmed, even hurting. This time though it wasn’t due to watching a movie or a commercial it was due to people. My heart had been collecting hurtful words that were spoken to me and recording the painful actions that others had done to me. I was feeling like I was not valued, not respected, rejected, taken advantage of, not good enough, and not worth the time or effort to be with. My heart was even taking other people’s hurts upon it. My heart was holding it all in, allowing hurt upon hurt, wound upon wound, to build up on the inside. Pretty soon, I began to notice that I was starting to feel angry at what people had done. Sometimes, I even felt bitter. Thus, the struggle had begun. I knew that it wasn’t right to be feeling this way. I was supposed to be loving people and I didn’t want to. I thought if I don’t deal with this I am going to be in a world of hurt.
I began to pray. I was asking Jesus how he did it. If anyone experienced pain, rejection, people saying one thing and yet doing another, it was Him. He was spit upon, ridiculed, loved one minute and hated the next and betrayed. He experienced such hatred from people, even some of them wanting to kill him. Yet in the midst of all of this, He never lashed out in anger toward them with vengeance. He responded to them with love and kindness. Instead, He went to His Father and said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
I knew that it was right to forgive those who hurt me. God makes it clear in His Word that when you do not forgive others He can not forgive you. I had prayed and forgave them and thought that it was taken care of. But lying there in my heart was still a gamut (range) of emotions of pain. The pain would become really noticeable when I was around these people that had hurt me.
And so I waited to hear what God would say. He began to show me that walking in forgiveness toward them was not for their benefit but for mine. That as I forgave them and looked to Him, it would open the door of my heart so that He could come in and heal the wounds that were there. So I sat down in my room and I brought each person to Him and said I forgive them. Then I spoke of what they had done that had hurt me and I released them. As I did this, little by little a weight began to lift.
Then God gave me a verse in Jeremiah 30. It says, For I will heal you. I will heal you where you have been hurt, says the Lord. He also gave me the scripture Psalms 56:8 it says, You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. He wanted me to know that He saw the pain and He wanted to heal it completely.
Since that time the Lord has begun the healing process in my life. There is still pain, but it’s a process. It’s like when we get a physical wound and it starts to heal, it’s still painful as the healing process is taking place. I believe it is the same with our hearts. Another scripture He gave me is found in Ezekiel 11. It says, and I will give them one heart [a new heart] and I will put a new spirit within them; and I will take the stony [unnaturally hardened] heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh [sensitive and responsive to the touch of their God], that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances, and do them. And they shall be My people, and I will be their God.
In Luke 17 it says, “offenses will certainly come.” (Whether I like it or not.) I knew that the Lord was saying when they do come what really matters is what I do with them. He wanted me to come to Him, give Him the hurts and then allow Him to come in and heal my heart. Letting Him remove the stony hardened heart due to offense resulting in wanting to draw back and choose bitterness and unforgiveness. He wanted replace my heart of stone with a heart of flesh, one that is soft and sensitive toward Him. He is the one who created my heart, He knows how to protect it, heal it and make it whole.
I don’t know if you have experienced offenses before and have been hurt badly by them. If you have, I know that the Lord wants to heal you and make you whole. He does not want you to live in torment any longer. You can talk to Him. He understands the hurts and the wounds in your heart more than anyone. He is the only one who can heal your heart and make it whole. Look to Him, open your heart to Him and let Him heal you. It’s Worth It!!